Kamilla’s THREAD. Domestic violence experts are worried about the dangerous myths spread about DV and rape during the Depp v Heard trial. Here are some of the victim-blaming myths spread by social media debunked by facts, data, and evidence (sources in the ALT text).

Kamilla’s THREAD 🧵 Domestic violence experts are worried about the dangerous myths spread about DV and rape during the Depp v Heard trial. Here are some of the victim-blaming myths spread by social media debunked by facts, data, and evidence (sources in the ALT text).

Myth: “A real victim would never hit their abuser.” Reality: According to studies, 23 to 71 percent of victims used violence against their abuser at some point in the relationship. Although violence is unacceptable, it is a common reaction to suffering long term physical abuse.

Myth: “A real abuse victim would have gone to the hospital.” Reality: The NCADV (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence) found that only 34% of people injured by intimate partners received medical care for their injuries. (See: undiagnosed brain injury epidemic.)

Myth: “A real rape victim would have gone to the hospital if they were injured.” Reality: A study found that only 27% of rape victims that were injured sought medical treatment after the rape. That number becomes even lower when the rapist was an intimate partner.

Myth: “If you are not severely injured, you are not abused.” Reality: This is what Gelles deemed “the Burning Bed phenomenon”, the idea that victims have to be battered beyond belief. Victims will not always have bruises, abusers are experienced in getting around that.

Myth: “A victim of domestic violence doesn’t use makeup to cover their injuries.” Reality: Many abuse victims use makeup to cover their bruises. Victims will usually hide their bruises because of shame, to protect their abuser, or to go on with their daily life.

Myth: “You cannot be abusive if you are using downers, such as alcohol.” Reality: A study found that almost two thirds of abusers were drinking before the incident. Alcohol does not make someone incapable of inflicting violence on their partner.

Myth: “If the victim is telling the truth, why wouldn’t they cooperate with the police?” Reality: Studies show that abuse victims are unlikely to cooperate. In fact, the more severe the abuse is, the more unlikely it is for victims to cooperate.

Myth: “Juries always know if the victim is lying.” Reality: Jurors are not experts on domestic violence, they are random people that are just as susceptible to victim-blaming tactics by lawyers. A Northwestern University study found that 1 out of 8 juries got it wrong.

Myth: “The abuser could not look at their victim in court, therefore they are innocent.” Reality: Not looking at someone in court can mean a lot of things, but it doesn’t mean that someone is automatically innocent. For example, R Kelly could not look at his victims.

Larry Nassar also avoided eye contact with victims

Myth: “If someone who is famous is accused of domestic violence, they will be treated just as fair by the jury.” Reality: Big celebrities that are well liked by the public typically receive more preferential treatment by jurors. Celebrity privilege can easily sway a jury.

Myth: “The victim was acting erratic on the stand, but the abuser was acting calm and stable. Which means they are innocent.” Reality: This is what’s called a trauma response. It’s very notorious for abusers to act calm and stable in contrast to their victim.

Myth: “Abusers never turn the story around on their victims and say they were abused.” Reality: This is called DARVO, and it’s been used in several murder and abuse cases (OJ Simpson, Brian Laundrie, John Bobbit). Studies show that it’s effective and works well on juries.

Myth: “When a victim comes out about domestic violence, they are always supported.” Reality: According to a study, 75% of survivors that spoke out against their perpetrators in the workplace faced some form of retaliation.

Myth: “If a victim says they still love their abuser, they are lying about being abused.” Reality: Many domestic violence victims still love their abuser after leaving them. Victims that are unable to go no-contact, especially, will still love their abuser for years later.

Myth: “Destroying property to intimidate a victim is not abuse.” Reality: Destroying property around a victim or destroying a victim’s possessions with the intention to control are both abuse. Many domestic violence experts and courts count this as domestic violence.

Myth: “A real rape victim would remember every detail of the assault.” Reality: Many people who were raped have vivid memories of images, sounds, and smells. Rape victims often remember details that others would say are not relevant to the attack. This is a trauma response.

Myth: “The victim was diagnosed with hysteria, therefore they are lying.” Reality: Histrionic personality disorder, also known as hysteria, has been used to discredit female victims for a long time. It’s a sexist and controversial diagnosis, unrecognized by many experts.

Myth: “A real victim would never taunt or talk back to their abuser, they would be too scared.” Reality: According to the NCADV, victims of domestic violence do not always lack confidence. Talking back or taunting an abuser does not make anyone less of a victim.

Myth: “An actual guilty abuser would never take their victim to court.” Reality: Abusers taking their victims to court is very common. Abusers will take advantage of the courts to keep controlling their victims, often using their trauma responses to humiliate them.

Myth: “Honestly it seems that they were both just crazy.” Reality: In an abusive relationship, there is an abuser and a victim that reacts. How they react can vary, and a perceived “crazy” reaction is often used by the abuser to paint themselves as the victim.

Myth: “If they were really an abuser, their ex partners would have said they were too.” Reality: Abusers do not abuse everyone. Abusers can be selective and find victims that they think are easier control (usually with systemic indifferences; age, money, wealth).

Myth: “Threatening self-harm as a way to guilt trip or control a victim is not abuse.” Reality: Domestic violence experts recognize self harm and suicide threats with the intent to control as coercive control. Abusers will often use this to guilt trip or to get what they want.

Myth: “A real victim would never return to their abuser.” Reality: On average, it take about 7 attempts for women to finally leave their abuser. Many victims will come back to their abuser because of a trauma bond, housing situation, or false promises.

Myth: “Rape victims do not freeze during a rape, they fight back.” Reality: This is an incredibly dangerous myth that is used to justify rape. According to studies, almost 50% of rape victims freeze during the assault. Each victim responds differently to an assault.

Myth: “I always know when a victim is lying.” Reality: Research has shown that a coin flip is better at detecting lies than humans. You can put a caption of “haha look at how obvious it is they’re lying” on anything and people will agree.

SOURCE: “A coin flip is better at detecting lies than most people.” (A. Chaisson)

Myth: “Victims are always scared of their abusers.” Reality: An abusive relationship will have what is called a “honeymoon period”, which often happens after an act of abuse. A victim may feel safe during this phase, sometimes believing that the abuser has changed.

Myth: “Domestic violence has no gender.” Reality: Anyone can be abused, that is an undisputed fact. Lots of men suffer from domestic violence. However, it is statistically a gendered crime and disproportionately affects women.

Myth: “People are able to spot abusers.” Reality: Abusers are manipulative, they are able to put up a display which looks nothing like they act in private. While in a relationship, abusers will likely act loving until they feel that the victim is comfortable enough to abuse.

Myth: “If the public sides with a man, he is telling the truth.” Reality: When the Lewinsky news dropped, many viewed her as a predatory intern who lied to blackmail the president. It was later revealed he was lying. In fact, the more that came out, Clinton’s polling increased.

Myth: “If they really abused that victim, other people would say the same.” Reality: Again, abusers do not abuse everyone. Likewise, if someone that accuses someone is met with a smear campaign, it’s likely this would scare other victims into silence.

Myth: “People have to headbutt and restrain crazy women to contain them”
Reality: Abusers use the “accidental headbutt while I was restraining her” shit all the time.

You literally see this shit so much like it’s not even funny. “Accidental headbutt” is like a signature for abusers at this point. 

Johnny basically confirms he had the control in his own testimonies bc he goes on about how Amber lectures him and “pretends to be authoritative” and “I’m twice her age”. His whole story is basically that he had to control a crazy woman, classic abuser trope. 

The whole theory relies on this idea that she’s a scheming person who created very realistic bruises (but not good enough) for years and took pictures of them. She was good enough to recruit several fake witnesses but sloppy enough to not make the bruises look more “severe”. 

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